"Spiritual maturity is moving from confident arrogance to thoughtful maturity." I heard this quote recently on an old podcast from The God Journey. Wayne Jacobsen never directly names the author, but he does mention the book, Wisdom Hunter, which is written by Randall Hunter. So I am assuming I can attribute the quote to said author. Either way, both the quote and the podcast hit home for me on two different levels.

Most of the podcast talks about being a safe space for someone to share their story with, and I listened questioning myself on whether I am that person. Am I a good listener that genuinely wants to hear another person's story, and gives them the time and space to share, or am I in a hurry for them to finish so I can share my own story, or whatever wisdom I think I have to impart? I know it's partly the latter, although I have grown some over the years, there is still more growth needed. I am a fixer by nature, and a talker. Those two qualities are more like weaknesses at times. 

To the other extreme, I have also experienced being on the other end, where you are willing to be vulnerable and someone wants to share that oh so easy solution, to slap that fix it label on, perhaps because they, too, want to be helpful or just want to see a problem all nicely wrapped up and solved. If only life were that simple. In the podcast, Wayne talks about the Christian communities' habit of doing this to folks that are chronically ill. I never noticed this so much until I was diagnosed with cancer, and a few people suggested I go to meetings to receive healing (and in the same breath ask me to reconsider getting chemo treatment if it turned out I needed it and instead do alternative medicine), or be asked, in a somewhat challenging tone, if they could pray for me for healing when I wouldn't go to those meetings. I don't know what their thinking is, but I am learning not to judge, because cancer makes people feel all kinds of strange feelings, not just the person that has it.

Most of all, I want to be a person that isn't afraid to ask questions, of myself, of others, of God, of the Bible, etc. The less I'm willing to ask questions, the more I assume I know the answers when the greater reality is, I don't. It's what I don't miss about a faith that is grounded in doctrine in such a way that it elicits arrogance and a stance that I'm right and you're wrong--that's not to say that everyone that loves doctrine lives that way, but it was largely my experience. Oh, how patient God is with us, with me. 

Come, Lord Jesus, do not tarry, and have mercy on us all.